Saturday, February 25, 2012

AVS GAMEDAY PRIMER: Detroit Red Wings Presented By Amway, 2/25/12

The Good Guys: Beat Columbus like a drum last night, 5-0. David Jones was the hero, with two goals, and Semyon Varlamov folded the Jackets neatly and put them away. Seeing Jones and Paul Stastny getting hot at the right time warms the cockles of my dark heart.

Bunch Of Dicks: Well, well, well...hello there, Detroit! We understand that you had your cute little home unbeaten streak* ended by the Canucks on Thursday, and that you're pretty unhappy with that. We're not very happy about it either, because we were hoping the Avs would be the ones to end it. You'll have to forgive us if we are rude guests tonight, because we're in the middle of a battle to get into the playoffs. We have a new friend. His name is Steve Downie, and he's paid to dislike you. He will be going around to properly introduce himself to each of your players at various points this evening.

We Like: Beating Detroit. So let's do it.

We Don't Like: Knowing that our team speed advantage will be neutralized by Detroit's *COUGHLEGALIZEDINTERFERENCECOUGH* "subtle pick plays" tonight, since Detroit are the Special Little Children and accordingly, are above the silly rules and regulations the rest of the NHL must play by.

Randomly: Evgeni Malkin is better than everybody else in the world at the hockey.

Potential Hero: JS Giguere is back in net for the Avs tonight. Rumors have linked Giguere to Philadelphia to partner with his old Anaheim running mate, Ilya Bryzgalov. I like Giguere alot, he's been fantastic for the Avs this season, and I wouldn't settle for anything less than James van Riemsdyk in return. If Philly isn't okay with that, then that's too bad. Watch for Giguere to be the difference tonight if the Avs are able to pick up two points.

Potential Goat: Tonight's potential goat is Whichever Av Fails To Stop Kyle Quincey From Scoring, which we all know by now is as safe a bet as there is for an Avs fan. Former Avs are superhuman, and if Joe Sacco doesnt assign someone to take Quincey out, John Kreese-style, then he should be fired immediately.

Final Thought: Has there ever been a more beloved bad hockey player than Tomas Holmstrom? Imagine if Detroit WAS forced to play by the same rules as the other 29 teams. Holmstrom would've been out of the league by 2001.

Red Wings 5, Avs 4

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