Tuesday, January 24, 2012

AVS GAMEDAY PRIMER: Minnesota Wild, 1/24/12

The Good Guys: Started putting pucks into the net about 54 minutes too late Sunday night in a 3-2 loss to Anaheim. The Avs outshot the Quacks 44-16, but Jonas Hiller was undizzy, and careless puckhandling during an early power play led to a short-handed goal by Bobby Ryan that had the Avs playing from behind for most of the game.

Bunch Of Dicks: O HAI THERE MINNESUCKWADS! Good to see that absolutely EVERYBODY IN THE UNIVERSE was right about you during your Smoke n' Mirrors start. You are who we thought you were!

We Like: The opportunity to dig Minnesota's hole just a little bit deeper going into the All Star break.

We Don't Like: It started out as a minor annoyance, then grew into something that made me grimace every time I saw it, then morphed into something that actually made my belly ache every time I saw it, and finally metastasized into a shorthanded goal in Sunday night's game at the Quacketeria: that stupid drop pass in the neutral zone on the power play breakout that is somehow supposed to generate extra speed coming into the zone. In theory? It makes sense. In practice, it ends up being four guys having to slow down to various degrees because the trailer is lagging, so you have one man bursting into the zone while four men are trying to get back to top speed. Is Tony Granato sending signals directly into Joe Sacco's head? If so, isn't that somehow illegal?

Randomly: When you ask someone for their telephone number or email address, 99% of the time, the person will race through it, forcing you to ask them to repeat it S L O W L Y. Can we legalize some sort of mildly physical negative reinforcement for people who do this? Maybe a light tap on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper, like you'd do with a bad dog? A spritz of water?

Tonight's Hero: Joe Sacco, for not sitting JS Giguere tonight despite the loss on Sunday. Rotating your goalies based on the result of the last game, unless it was an exceptionally poor showing, doesn't work when you have one goalie clearly outplaying the other.

Tonight's Goat: The NHL. We're REALLY digging being forced to watch 6 Avs/Wild matchups a season, guys!

Final Thought: Minnesota is an odd resident on my list of unforgivable teams, in that they are on there due to one thing and one thing only: the 2003 first round playoff series, remembered most for Andrew Brunette ending Patrick Roy's career, Kerry Fraser taking games 6 and 7 and turning them into his own personal bidet, and Richard Park turning into Richard, Maurice. All the other teams on that list (Detroit, Vancouver, Dallas, Calgary) have found themselves there due to multiple transgressions over the span of years.

Avs 2, Wild 0

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