Wednesday, October 26, 2011

AVS GAMEDAY PRIMER: Calgary Flames, 10/26/11

Know The Enemy: Calgary Flames (2-4-1, 5 pts); lost to Nashville 2-0 on Saturday.

Key On This Guy: By process of elimination, Flames captain Jarome Iginla, who is gonna look like a million bucks wearing a jersey of an actual contender sometime before the end of his illustrious career. Los Angeles, perhaps?

Laugh At This Guy: Windup-toy-on-ice Curtis Glencross, who would be an extremely effective NHL player if he didn't have a "Quaker Oats" logo tattooed on his forehead. If NHL players had to take the Wonderlic test, "GlenX" would be able to count his final score on one hand. That is, if he knew how to count.

Don't Sleep On This Guy: Designated facepuncher Pierre-Luc Letourneau-Leblond, who might be a lousy NHL player, but his name gives me a boner. Projects to be a Baron or a Count once his NHL career is over.

Fact About The Flames That May Or May Not Be Made Up: The Flames play their home games in Calgary's "Saddledome", which was named in honor of its proximity to all the horse's asses that have played for the organization over the years.

Celebrity Prediction: Asshole Flames Fan Streaker From 2002

"Despite the fact that I cant BARE the thought of another Flames loss, the NAKED truth is with DANGLERS like Olli Jokinen, our Flames can't lose tonight! Final score Flames 4, Avala..."<slips on ice and is knocked cold>

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