Know The Enemy: Toronto Maple Leafs (3-0-0, 6 pts); beat Calgary 3-2 on Saturday.
Key On This Guy: Former Avs defenseman John-Michael Liles, who looks to join an illustrious group of former Avs defensemen who magically transform into Bobby Orr the first time they line up with the opposition.
Laugh At This Guy: Leafs captain and former Flames star Dion Phaneuf, who can ask Sean Avery to tape his sticks for him any time he goes into a scoring drought.
Don't Sleep On This Guy: Former Avs forward Phillipe Dupuis, who may as well be Mario Lemieux tonight based on the Liles Corollary noted above.
Fact About The Maple Leafs That May Or May Not Be Made Up: Leafs GM Brian Burke and coach Ron Wilson were teammates (and roommates) in the 1970s at Blowhard Arrogant Asshole That Nobody Likes University, a small college in Rhode Island.
Celebrity Guest: Bigoted, Cheap, Misogynistic Former Leafs Owner Harold Ballard
"Wait, Kessel is getting paid HOW much? <dies again>"