Wednesday, October 12, 2011

AVS GAMEDAY PRIMER: Columbus Blue Jackets, 10/12/11

Know The Enemy: THE Columbus Blue Jackets (0-3-0, 0 pts); lost to Vancouver 3-2 on Monday.

Key On This Guy: Jackets' captain Rick Nash, the closest thing the NHL has seen to a one-man team for the better part of a decade. Looks like a fratboy, which helps him blend in around town.

Laugh At This Guy: Bait-and-switch victim Jeff "Poo Nanny" Carter, who definitely would have signed the same 11-year contract for reduced money with the Blue Jackets as he did with the Flyers if he was high on drugs and self-loathing.

Don't Sleep On This Guy: The Jackets employee in charge of firing that fake cannon in the arena when the team scores a goal. This guy bangs and gets paid for it every night. Sort of like Jeff Carter, amirite?

Fact About The Blue Jackets That May Or May Not Be Made Up: The young franchise wanted a nickname that reflected the impact the state of Ohio made during the Civil War. The two final candidates were "Blue Jackets" (Ohio produced the navy uniforms worn by Union soldiers), and "Girls That Gave Stonewall Jackson Chlamydia".

Celebrity Prediction: Christopher Columbus

"The word 'Colorado' is a Spanish term that means 'ruddy' or 'red'. You know, 'red', like the skin of the natives in this new land. BURN AND PILLAGE THEM, BOYS. 3-1 JACKETS."

No comments:

Post a Comment