Know The Enemy: New York Islanders (4-6-2, 10 pts); lost to Boston 6-2 on Monday.
Key On This Guy: Up-and-coming John Tavares, the top overall pick in the 2009 entry draft, off to a hot start with 8 goals in the Isles' first 12 games. One of the youngest alternate captains in the league, Tavares has been doing an admirable job as a young leader, even managing to bond with Rick DiPietro despite the restraining order taken out by Garth Snow forcing the accident-prone DiPietro to stay at least 1000 feet away from Tavares at all times.
Laugh At This Guy: The unfortunately-named PA Parenteau, who has spent the better part of the last week having to explain it's "Parenteau", not "Paterno", and no, no relation, no seriously I dont even know the guy and GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FRONT YARD.
Don't Sleep On This Guy: Disappointing Josh Bailey, at one time the top Islander prospect, who has one lousy assist in 12 games and therefore is the exact type of player that will drop a 2-1-3 +3 on the Avs tonight because thats just how it works and explains very well why my eyelid twitches all the time.
Fact About The Islanders That May Or May Not Be Made Up: The "final piece of the championship puzzle" for the Islanders dynasty teams of the early 80s was jack-of-all-trades Butch Goring, acquired from the Los Angeles Kings, and known for wearing a helmet made out of blue peat moss. While Goring proved to be the player that got the Isles over the hump, GM Bill Torrey was forced to settle for Goring after trying to acquire players with tougher sounding names than "Butch Goring", including North Stars defenseman Jake Jackhammer, Blackhawks right wing Big Terry Rockfucker, and Winnipeg center Hammer "The Bulldog" 69man.
Celebrity Prediction: Islanders 1992 honorary captain, Ralph Macchio
"Think if Mr Miyagi and I switched places with Charles Wang and Rick DiPietro, anyone would notice? Islanders 3, Avs 2."
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